I’m not sure if it happens to everyone but I know it hits me often, and quite bad. My head just suddenly fills up with all these words and thoughts and ideas, all floating around in bits and pieces, never really forming a constructive train of thought. It grows and swells as a balloon fills with water until I feel about ready to pop. It makes me restless and semi-frustrated as my conscious mind tries to unravel the chaos. I often try to sit down and grab a hold of some of the phrases and constructs but there seems to be no start or end to the literary jumble in my head.
I sit down behind my computer, but there is nothing to type. I sit and stare at the blank screen, waiting for the balloon to burst and fill my screen with snippets of what’s been going on inside my head. But that doesn’t happen. I try to carry on with my life, arriving at point B without really knowing how I got there – I was too consumed in thoughts to notice what’s going on around me. I grab a pen and paper, determined to clear my mind and become level-headed and focussed again. And 30minutes later I push the empty paper aside.
Later in the day I realize there is a sense of quietness in my head. They have been killed. Like a child stomping on ants, one by one my daily rituals have stepped on my words and thoughts, silencing them, pushing them to a corner of my mind. I’m hoping they will regroup there, form some sort of organized group, willing to file out in line onto my screen as a structured piece of writing, or an executable idea. Am I the only one tormented by my own mind?